I used to want to succeed because I had to get some message out, because I had to help women, because I had to be of service in some meaningful way and in all honestly, because I had to grow up, get my shit together and pay the bills! But all that ego-based BS was not enough of a force to get me through the fears and insecurities to get out there, live my purpose and boldly shine my light. Nope, my soul, the real me, the one really directing the show would not let me live based on inauthentic, ego-base motives, as altruistic as they seemed. And so as I moved through life, with less-than-fully-soul-driven motives, I would put my feet in the water but mostly stay ashore. It is painful to have glimpses of the truth and not know what is blocking you from bringing them through, you.
And then one day, you awaken and there is no more a longing for success. The pain caused by suppression of my gifts and purpose becomes too great to bear that it finally, like a volcano that has been boiling up to the surface, breaks through and explodes as a relentlessness to live as nothing else but the real you. Because anything else is just too painful. Because there is nothing left to do.
That is what has happened to me.
Today, I have no choice but to live my truth. Period. My soul could take that depression and suppression no more. I no longer had a choice and my next steps came to feel like a matter of life or death. Today I have to express my gifts, or experience a metaphorical death and the depressed, unfulfilled life that brings through. I finally surrendered the ego-based fears and realized there was no choice but to live on purpose, FULLY aligned with the real me, and living her, expressing her, sharing her out loud and boldly, no success in mind, just letting her be and shine how only she knows to do.
The funny thing is, this is the force I needed all along. It is the force that pushes beyond all fears and all stories of “I can’t” or “what if.” This is the force that has me decree loudly in the morning; “SHOW ME DIVINE WOMAN! Please let me feel you glorious gorgeous feminine wisdom through all of life and show me how to express as you, radiate as you, serve as you, be one with you!” This is the force of authenticity, surrendering to my gifts, trusting in the divine mother to hold and guide me… the force of truth.
And so this is my motive today, and what gets me out of bed… Connecting as deeply as I can with my truth and doing my very best to follow my soul’s calls. And the more I be and do that, the more every day becomes a miraculously, mysteriously unfolding powerful playground for my soul’s wisdom and how I/she will spontaneously, amazingly, lovingly come through and create… create miracles, create connection, create healings, joy, music…create love. And fulfilled I am.
Oh Goddess, thank you. Thank you for finally showing me you, for finally revealing you as me, you in me and in everything I touch and see. I love you. I adore you. Please help me and all my sisters easily, gracefully, naturally live as you forever more.
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