I HEAR IT ALL THE TIME…
“I want to do more with my life…
to write that book…
go back to school…
learn to surf…
create that dream business of mine…
But every time I say YES I’m going to do it, something gets in the way!”
Suddenly your computer crashes…
Suddenly you get a flat tire…
Suddenly your husband needs help for work…
Suddenly you get sick and have to rest…
Suddenly a friend needs to talk…
Suddenly you … get the idea.
And all of IT FEELS ITS HAPPENING TO YOU, in spite of your best intentions, and you never seem to move forward with that greater self care, expression, realization of your dream. And then the worst suddenly of them all occurs…
Suddenly you wake up,
and its been ten years.
(I know, ouch.)
Firstly, I just have to say, I hear you deeply.
I hear you because I’ve been there.
And yet that doesn’t change the truth that while all these excuses, disruptions and emergencies seemed to be unavoidable and not your fault… When you’re the common denominator through it all and other people “seem” to be moving on with their lives, it begs the question, “Could there be something else, in you, rather than out there, going on?
So yes, I too have been there, done that…
That place where I’m pulling my hair out wondering “When is it going to be my time?!?”.
Until I realized, MY TIME WAS ALWAYS MY TIME and there was clearly some aspect within me that was not as much of a “YES, LETS DO THIS!” as I thought myself to be.
Being brutally, I mean, lovingly honest with myself may have felt icky at first but I knew this honesty was the gateway to my freedom and so I took a deep breath and admitted, “Yup. I was the one creating this block.”
And with that came a big sigh of relief because not only could my life likely start flowing (and after the clearing and transformation work I did, it did!)… It reminded me just how powerful I truly was.
Yes, what I’m conveying here (with a compassionate I-GET-YOU heart), is that maybe these disruptions and interruptions didn’t happen TO you rather were created BY you.
And while I know – especially if you’re knee deep in frustrating stuck-ness – there may be a part of you that wants to throw a frying pan at me now because “I certainly haven’t created these blocks!” Thats just it, you haven’t, not consciously anyway… and that’s exactly why you have to hear me out!
Human behavior research has found that 90% of our thoughts are unconscious and it is that whopping 90% of thinking, of (mis)beliefs and patterns that are mostly if not totally running the show of our lives, no matter how in control we think we are. This 90% of our unconscious knowing runs our behaviors, chooses our lovers and career paths, dictates our habits and yes, even makes it so everything, or nothing, gets in the way.
And that is why its so crucial for any of you determined to finally cross over that great transition line and live the joyful life of impact you know you’re here to have, to become conscious of what’s buried in your very vast unconscious!
Yes, It is just this unconscious material that is at the root of why you so often feel frustrated when you can’t move forward, or simply why you don’t.
Yes, it is very likely that all this distracting, unproductive busy-ness was actually created by a part within you (not all of who you are, because who you are is magnificent at the core and you know it), a part that likely feels really afraid to step out and do what YOU yearn so deeply to do. (And to this part, I say, “I LOVE YOU.” And to you I say, “I GOT YOU. I’m here to help you learn from her and thanks to her actually become a greater version of yourself so in the end you love her too!”)
Now, the good news is that if you can finally lovingly (READ: without judgment) own that it was you who maybe created or at least allowed for all this distraction, than it is also you who can bring it to a stop.
The truth is, no matter how uncontrollable everything seems, when you come to understand the deeper dynamics going on here (and what a huge a power you are to declare “NO MORE” and have it be so!), you instantly realize it always has been in your hands to stop the fear-driven interruptions all along and finally get a hold of your flow, your direction, your life.
And so, if you’re still with me, than I know you are just such a women, ready to claim your power more fully and so lets do this… How do you finally stop all the busy insanity to move forward and be, live, experience and create what you’ve felt in your heart for so long???
Well, this is where the fun begins. This is where you get to become a super savvy mental ninja in making the unconscious conscious – as an Empowered Woman learns to do – and have you finally actually break those seeming life-long patterns, live free of the hidden self-sabotage and move on with your dreams. (And by the way, the way I work with my women, this discovery transformation process is truly a most joyful, empowering journey-of-a-lifetime all on its own!)
SO WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT?
Now you know in your heart this dream vision of yours is something you truly want to do... whether its a career path or hobby or simply greater self-care... Or perhaps you're not exactly sure what you're here to do in life, but something deep within tells you its great and meaningful and you're done with putting it off discovering what...
BUTTTT, yes, its the old frustrating BUT... but every time you say yes, you have tons of distraction seemingly holding you back.
What to do? (A lesson in femininity and creative power in 2 parts)
1. YOU RECLAIM YOUR POWER
Now this isn't a wishy-washy saying, "sure, I'm powerful." simply to obey. NO!
It's that same wishy-washiness that allowed all this distraction to leak through and into your life!
It's that same wishy-washiness that shows us that while on the outside you were saying "YES." there was something deep in you with a huge foot on the proverbial break! (Working with this part within you is where my 1-on-1 with clients gets really powerful and juicy...)
It is uber-important to learn how to work with that wishy-washy, desperately in need of care part within but that is beyond the scope of this post. For now, I'm going to give you tools to get you going this minute, the first as we said by boldly reclaiming your power.
And by reclaiming your power, I'm talking about the take-a-powerful-breath, feel-your-immensity and let out a big metaphorical roar type of reclaiming your power! I'm talking about the knowing-I'm-a-freakin-amazing-woman and I'm finally busting through and coming out type of reclaiming your power! I'm talking about the "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, I'M SHOWING WHO'S BOSS" type of reclaiming your power!
You can reach into the depths of you in any instant and get hold of just such awesome power...
And it may also help to step into some compassion with yourself and first forgive yourself for having let your power go in the first place.
We've all done it. We all have fear inside and we've all at some point said a half-hearted yes that made us shaky, penetrable and a magnet for every distraction in the world (And this includes all the great movers and shakers in our history, who simply understood fear is a natural part within and learned to work with fear in just such ways rather than have it paralyze them!)
And so you say "WOOPS!" You come to terms that likely these distractions didn't happen TO YOU, rather your half-hearted yes needed them as a way to not follow through. And feeling such deep self-love and forgiveness, you CHOOSE to remind yourself just how awesome you are, you choose to transform the fear into your faith and you reclaim your power to say a really full yes.
- And you shout that full YES from the rooftops out to the universe...
- And you boldly, even in the quiet within, you say a SERIOUS "LETS GET THIS ON!"
- And you come up with 1, 2 or 3 excited action steps that you jump into whole-heartedly (sometimes while breathing breathing breathing) that says to life "See, I'm serious! I am choosing my YES! I will and I can!"
***** And you also stay vigilant for the fearful part inside who will likely want to rear its head and support her with encouraging, empowering thoughts so you stay true to your YES and so the distractions, no longer needed for her to feel safe, magically seem to fade. *****
2. DO NOTHING
"Huh!??! But, Shirly, you just told me to loudly claim my power and jump into action!"
Hahaha. Yes, I know. And as you'll see, just like life, I love me some paradoxes that help me ensure I'm holding all and this is just such a paradox...
But this isn't so much about paradox rather than balance... And you know I'm also all about the feminine/masculine balance and so if my first suggestion was a truly masculine, get up and DO this kind of tip, than you know I'm going to follow it and end this post with a truly feminine, sit back and BE kind of trick!! (Can you say YUMMMM?!?!)
So yes, you do nothing. You see, in the pace and place you've been moving in, bumping up against a million walls and not accomplishing a whole lot, if you continue in this energetic frenzy, you're just going to continue to expend a lot of energy and realize a whole lot of nothing, zero, zilch... and you'll be left drained, as you're likely feeling already, for not much of anything.
Also moving from a space backed by fear and negativity, you're going to pollute all your efforts with that fear and negativity and those on the receiving end of your service, your mission, your love, your work are going to receive not your gifts, beauty and expertise, but your pain. And they will feel it and run away, even if they don't know why they are running. And that is not what your heart is wanting to do, that I'm sure of.
And so we say to the human part of us "WOOPS!" and we realize that its time to come back inside, time to connect with the love-based, loving, unshakable BEing in you.
Its time to stop the over-masculine pattern of doing doing doing for just a few CRUCIAL balancing moments. Its time to come back into you, into the space where your greatest insight and guidance as to how to best move forward reside, through your feminine traits of introspection, intuition, feeling and love... through diving into the depths of your soul and reconnecting, to you, your truth, your why, your love.
Its time to remember and reclaim the peaceful, faith-filled, enthusiastic being you truly are and the tremendous love you are desiring to share.
It is time to come back to the blissful, steady, calm goddess within you and allow her through so you can experience and radiate her confidence, faith and grace AND BE MOVED FROM THERE.
With her at the helm, you naturally, sweetly and joyously feel inspired with her creativity and have an immediate sense of precisely what to DO.
With her at the helm, everything actually feels so good and blissful already you don't have to DO anything... but her creative vision is so utterly scintillating and exciting that clearly, there's nothing else you'd like to do.
And you're instantly filled with a renewed sense of purpose & energy to move on through.
And with your roaring, empowered masculine within you activated healthily, you do!
And so that my dear ladies, is a journey to and through distractions.... and how it all began, usually, with you.
As always, I'm here to support you on your journey to BE & DO your absolutely greatest in this awesome experience called life.
And as always, if you got any A-has from this, remember, you may have a friend who can really use to read this at this very moment... And so go ahead, SHARE THIS POST with all you know!
Hugs, love and chocolate,
Shirly Joy
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